“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” ( Ecclesiastes 3:1) and beloveds there is a time to apologize and say I am sorry. Lovely friends, I honestly wish there wasn’t a need for apologies, that I didn’t make mistakes, offend anyone or hurt someone’s feelings but unfortunately I do. Over this past year, I have done a lot of self-evaluation and in efforts to do better in the coming year, I had to come to grips with a difficult idea – I realized that I did not like to apologize.
It was not that I am some mean and hateful person – No, it is not that at all. You see, I don’t have a problem apologizing to some random stranger. If I bump into someone at the grocery store with my shopping cart – I smile and quickly say Oh I am sorry. Or if I accidentally cut someone off, while I am driving, I quickly offer a hand wave as an apology.
But, those three little words become a problem when it comes to people who I care about and people who I love. Now, why is that? One day as I was praying and asking the Lord to create in me clean heart, the spirit began to move me to ask the Lord to give me a meek and gentle spirit. As I began to do this, I noticed a difference in my attitude and the way I internally processed my interactions with people who were close to me. I realized that there comes a time in every relationship where an apology is necessary and quite healthy in any relationship.
I realized that I did not like the fact the another person saw a flaw in me, a flaw in my character and it was not that I wasn’t sorry but saying sorry meant that I was admitting that I was not perfect. But, as we know none of us are perfect. We have to learn to deal with our flaws and imperfections and ask the Lord to continually mold us and make us according to his will.
So, as I move on to 2016, I am leaving 2015 behind and pressing on toward the mark of the prize of high calling in Christ Jesus. I am looking forward to meeting the woman who I will become tomorrow!
Happy New Year Lovelies!